That Feeling
It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?
You know, that feeling you can’t explan, but you just want to share it?
It’s the profound epiphanies we want to tell our friends, the creative projects we want to post online, and the spontaneous sparks of gratitude where we want to suddenly text a friend we haven’t seen since high school graduation.
It’s a feeling of wanting to do something unusual and uncomfortable, but for no reason in particular.
But in many cases, these feelings… stay feelings.
You know, that feeling where you don’t want to express your feelings? It’s when “wants” never transform into “actions”, and thoughts will continue to linger in the back of our minds like lost children until they die of starvation. Or, these thoughts are occasionally fed until they are moved in a retirement home where they die of old age.
It’s a bad feeling, isn’t it?
Yet, we see more and more people expressing that feeling online. You may have seen bloggers post their grand realizations online. You may have seen dancers post their choreographies on YouTube. You may have had a random old friend call you to hang out. And you might be asking yourself: “Why can’t I do something like that? Why can’t I just express what I want to say to the world?
Fortunately, you can. You always can.
Unfortunately, you probably won’t. You know, that unexplainable feeling that you want to share, but you’re too afraid even bring it up? That feeling where you don’t think your voice matters? And that it’s not worth trying to share in the first place? And then you sulk in your shadows and sink into oblivions of overthinking?
It's a bad feeling, isn’t it?
After all, why would anyone care about us? We’re only one person trying to do something valuable when everyone is busy living their own lives.
To be honest, I have no idea. But I do know one thing for sure: Although I don’t know who wants to hear my voice, there’s no reason not to try. And so that’s what you’re reading, right now.
This is an outroduction to all of the moments where I had that feeling, but I was too insecure to do anything about it. I’m tired of drowning my voice in silence. I’m annoyed with how I let my thoughts starve. I’m finished — it’s time to cook up some food for thought and turn the graveyard of my dreams into a haven for my creative process to flourish and live its entire life out. And by extension, I’ll be living my life out.
It’s a goodbye melody to all the times I hesitated to pursue that feeling, and I’m writing this in case someone is listening.
And if you are, thank you.
And if you are, please continue to express that feeling。
It’s a good feeling. isn’t it? You know, that feeling where you feel… I don’t know, Human?
謝謝 — - — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 謝謝
So from here, we begin: The Musings of manboi?
I’m simply someone with too much free time and a childlike spirit. I would describe myself more, but I’m still unsure whether defining myself is more limiting than liberating. Hopefully, you can help me figure it out.
I’ll be posting a variety of content. It could be about creativity and communication, self(soul)-development, advocations for individual and cooperative expression, and bits of poetry here and there. Hopefully I’ll inspire you to continue reading and express that feeling, and bonus points if we can develop some personal connections. And if nothing happens, that’s fine with me. After all, these are just my musings.
If you enjoyed reading this, feel free to share with me your thoughts, and what “that feeling” means for you.
Double Thanks From:
Your internet neighbor manboi?
Next Musing: Grid Lines! Oh, and approaching relationships as a spectrum。
【Pictures from Inio Asano’s Solanin】
